n00bfiles - Viewing n00b: kj1996

N00b: kj1996
Occupation: Super Star ‘Emily Osment’
Points Per Game Avg: 23
Map(s) the whole rotation.

This one starts off slow, a regular day, I join n00bsvr 02 with friends (Cyborg571, anerkjst)
The second map we play: Canyon , getting owned by artillery, and flame tanks… So I am repairing and mining to ensure that it stays alive long enough for my teammates to kill the vehicles (yeah, right in n00b 2) So the building is going down faster than my repair gun can handle. Finally after numerous spammings of Control + 1-- ‘BUILING NEEDS REPAIR!!’ An engineer runs in obviously clueless, as he/she repairs the floor for a long moment. Quickly I PM him/her and yell:
[Private] bu11c3nts: rep the mct!
[Private] bu11c3nts: keep it there n00b
Finally, the command gets through, only for a second. Well actually for about 12 seconds as the person had to type and angry reply: http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1405889767 Uh oh, I am being ‘kalled’ a ‘noob’ My response:

[Private] bu11c3nts: Well, were you born in '96, you sure have the grammar....
[Team] kj1996: i know how to spell i just put k
http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1255927526
[Private] bu11c3nts: I cant tell the difference!
But then, awestruck, the person PM’s me back: http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1282751939
:
Oh noes! I guessed the age! http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1218371395: : : : http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1121829392 Well, I would leave Her (as we know now) alone but, it gets more strange, hilarious, and n00bish.
The next game, she said both of these phrases twice:

[Private] kj1996: how did u know i was born in 96
[Private] kj1996: i am a sixth grade girl so leave me alone
---------------------------------------------
[Private] bu11c3nts: why dont you leave me alone, and dont be complaining that I call you a n00b.
[Private] kj1996: i am not so u get ou t of my bisness noobie ::: http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1146986662

So the map was now Islands, which the Nod team consisted of Anerkjst, Cyborg571, gran89uk, and I--not to shabby (at all) We won in a land slide with various outbreaks of laughter on team speak when kj1996 responded to them, or they killed her, Particularly when Cyborg571 Pm’ed her and said ‘That’s enough of your shenanigans’ With a response back; ‘only oldies use shenanigans oldie’ Well that’s a new one!
The next map was City_Flying, where I was stuck on the n00b team as grant went to walk his dog. Cyborg was now contributing to the story by getting hilarious responses that are not available, but play a key part. Finally on the map Walls_Flying, it all came together.
bu11c3nts: no wonder you were born in 96. After my wisecrack, I see another PM:
[Private] kj1996: back off
Now, we all have seen it and are just joking around when Cyborg571 receives a PM saying they are on a show, Hannah Montanna - on the Disney Channel.

Now we can barely play as we are laughing so hard:


bu11c3nts: oh shit
[12:47:04] Cyborg571: she'll track your IP and send hannah montana out to kill you
[12:47:11] Cyborg571: how much would that suck
[12:47:15] Gosu: lol were do u guys talking about?
[12:47:15] anerkjst: lol
[12:47:19] Cyborg571: murdered my hannah montana
[12:47:23] bu11c3nts: kj is warning us
[12:47:25] Cyborg571: fuck that

But then, she replies!

[12:48:15] kj1996: i am not hannah montana i am emily osment
http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1282135552
http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1374809728

[12:48:36] Cyborg571: and shes ana assassain
[12:48:44] eaglewar0: wtf is that mean?
[12:48:49] Cyborg571: ask kj
[12:48:53] Gosu: maffia or some?
[12:48:53] bu11c3nts: you mean, Anna Assaissain. MI6?
[12:48:55] Cyborg571: she's threatening us

Walls was not really a contest after we got Apc’s and Whorecas into Nod’s base, as I kill the airstrip I notice this: http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1176445630 --- http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1383413964
There was ONE MINE in the door when she was disarming it, but I guess she couldn’t help it.
This story is still not over, just to point out more n00bery, Walls ends with everyone laughing, and we go to Under where I ask her how long she had been playing Renegade she responded: http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1210969803
We take the field with arties and sniper support, when I take out the WF, kj decided to rush the AGT with an arty! http://www.n00bstories.com/image.view.php?id=1294606496 Of course kj was killed in 3 seconds.

So is this n00bstory over? For now. But don’t give up, play server 2 ask for an E autograph cause Emily Osment is playing Command & Conquer Renegade!!

But I would not be surprised if it was some 11 year old boy who has Posters and Undergarments along with wet dreams of Hannah Montanna and Emily Osment, Either way, kj1996 is a n00b-- maybe even a newb, but not a ‘noobie’ or and ‘oldie’