Welcome to n00bstories
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome again. True story

n00bfiles - Viewing n00b: tactic356 and the server of n00b

 
n00bfile #6810
  • Written By: tactic356
  • Submitted: Jan 2, 2007 at 4:44 pm
  • n00b's Name: tactic356 and the server of n00b
  • Game: Battlefield 2142
  • Votes: 15
  • Score: 3.47
Votes
You must be logged in to vote!
Translate Story
Tactic356 and The Server Of N00bs
(a guide to the n00bs of bf2142 in story form)

Once upon a time 135 years into the future and not so far away the brave solider tactic356 entered a server--forgot the name--to kick some ass. Wasn't he surprised when the server was infested by NOOBS. He decided to brave becoming a noob himself to observe them. The first n00b he met was a commander n00b doing everything wrong. This n00b will fight with the other soilders and not pay attention as a commander should. He will move the titan but he will nearly crash it into the other teams titan causing massive lag. Tactic356 asked for a supply drop 50 times and he never got it. This is the most dangerous n00b and the easiest to spot. Next he met a flying n00b which is very hard to spot and very rare indeed only one in every game. This n00b can not fly the helecopter he is in. He can not land it and will usually bail out leaver the passengers to crash unless someone takes control. This n00b will also ram vehlicles on the ground pissing off who ever is in them. While flying his helecopter tactic356 met a new n00b the passenger n00b; this n00b will bail out of the helecopter either while its moving very fast so that the flyer tks them or bails out right when the pilot is about to land and to make it worse they punish for the tk....always. Next after being killed by a n00b pilot tactic met an AA gun n00b who fires right on the silos where his teammates are--if you would call them teammates--and tks them allowing the enemy who have been hiding to retake the silo. On the ground tactic met many vehilcle n00bs. The vehlicle n00bs are usually caracterized by ramming, shooting where 5 teammates are to kill 1 enemy in the same spot there for tking the teammates. The n00b will also run over his teammates, which does sometimes happen to regular players but the n00bs dont try to avoid it. Also the vehlicle n00bs will get out of their vehlicle to repair it right in the middle of the enemy. The game is over and obviously tactic gets the gold star even though because of his teammates his score is only 10. Now is a conquest map with few vehlicles. Tactic is very excited since this is where all the soilder n00bs fight. The first n00b that tactic finds is the support n00b. The support n00b will never drop their ammo hubs even if the person next to them is screaming "I NEED SUPPLYS" 50 times. They will never deploy their sheild under fire since they dont know that they need cover to survive. They will ALWAYS choose the ganz to fight with. The next n00b that tactic finds is the recon n00b. From his last game he knows that they always blow right when the rdx are on the consoles even though the other n00bs are to n00by to run when theres rdx there. The recon n00b will try to fight close range with a sniper rifle and will always be killed. They will try to blow up their own commander artilary with rdx. The worst thing that n00b recons will do is snipe their own team. Why? Tactic doesnt know. The next n00b that tactic finds is an engine n00b. These n00bs will always equip the SAAW anti air gun--which is useless--and they will not give support like all the other n00bs even if you yell "GREASEMONKEY" right next to them. They will not go for the vents on a walker even if they are right under it. Tactic is starting to feel quesy a sure sign that he is starting to be effected by all the n00bs in the server so he only has time for one last n00b. This n00b the assualt n00b is the most plentiful n00b that you will find. They will not give you their medical hub even if you do scream "I NEED A MEDIC" 500000000 times. They will shoot rockets either, at their own team, or closer then 20 meters. They will try to use the baur for long range and will not give you a rev even if your right under them. The assualt n00bs will probally equip smoke gernades and throw them in random places just to annoy their team. Tactic is starting to lose his mind he needs to get out of there. Please do not stay in a server infested by n00bs tactic was only able to last that long beacuse he was in the top 10000 players in bf2142. If you try this you will for sure become a n00b. You have been warned.

Comments