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n00bfiles - Viewing n00b: Judge Frank Wakefield

n00bfile #6798
  • Written By: Patriot
  • Submitted: Dec 21, 2006 at 12:16 am
  • n00b's Name: Judge Frank Wakefield
  • Game: Real Life
  • Votes: 18
  • Score: 7.94
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Do you own a phone?

Go get it. Now, turn it off. It made a silly little jingle-like sound, didn't it?

Now, imagine you're in a courtroom in the Middle Of No Where(aka Scottsville, Kentucky), and the balliff has just instructed everyone present to turn off their cellphones-or switch them to silent mode.

Ok, everyone turns their phones off and such, and as they do, a maryiad of those silly little jingles fills the courtroom. The Judge presiding over the court you're observing(Frank A. Wakefield), hears these jingles, and becomes infuriated. He does not understand why on earth, after everyone has been told to turn their phones OFF- That suddenly, they all start ringing(I mean, how dare them disobey a judge). Well, it appears to you, sitting on yor bench, that His Honor has mistaken those silly jingles- for ringtones(signifying incomming calls).

You look at the judge: His face is red, and he starts screaming. He demands that whoever it is that owns the phone that just rang, step forward- No one steps forward(Because no one's phone rang).

Well, that won't do.

So, the judge, he decides that drastic actions must be taken, to ensure that his courtroom remains safe and calm(Meanwhile: Not a sound is heard in the court, besides the judge's screaming. Nor is anyone moving. It appears to be the perfectly assembled assembly)- He orders the lowly baliff to apprehend you, and everyone else in the court(Everyone but himself), and to search them all for cell phones. He also calls the Sherrif-man on his own cell phone, and drafts 3 deputies, and 2 SPD officers(That's like, half of our police force-No, really), to aid the baliff in his search for the evil cell phone, that defied the judge(More importantly- It's owner).

After all of the cell phones are collected, from the audience, the attorneys, the defendents- everyone, they are taken to the police department to determine if any of them rang during court(*They didn't, man.. You're just old and corrupt*). You, meanwhile, are released from custody, and told that if you want your phone back, you have to pick it up at the police department after court is over.

Guess what! That really happened!

It was in the Middle Of No Where's one and only, weekly newspaper. Written by one of its three reporters.

His actions were deemed: "Subject to legal interpretation"

That b00b. He thinks he's Him or something.

Oh yeah: None of those cell phones rang. It really turned out to be a sound produced when the phone was turned off.

Congratulations! You just arrested a bunch of old people with nothing better to do, but watch druggies get tossed in jail all day. And you stole their cell phones...

This is but a chapter in the novel which describes the n00bish-ness of The Middle Of No Where.