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n00bfile #6790
  • Written By: jacko da c
  • Submitted: Dec 11, 2006 at 7:20 pm
  • n00b's Name: crazy truck driver 2:socerdevil
  • Game: Real Life
  • Votes: 28
  • Score: 9.43
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Ok so I'm home from college because finals start this week, but I don't have a final until friday, so I had a full 6 days to chill, and I decided to go home and help decorate our tree this weekend. Once I was done I decided to do a little christmas shopping with my friend Phil, known here as socerdevil25. We're leaving the Toys 'R Us parking lot when his Dad calls. Apparently he didn't tell him where he was going (which makes sense, it's christmas shopping). As Phil was trying to bullshit an excuse for leaving (which he does a lot), he was not paying attention and backed into a dumpster. His Dad asked what the sound was over the phone, and having to think of a response quick he replied "Oh that was just Jack farting".
Now this is a very nice truck, a black 2006 GMC Sierra, clean as a whistle, not even the slightest scratch. What a shame.
Later we leave Linen's 'N Things (I hate all these names and abbreviations for store names) when he's backing up, but at this point, he's already done the damage so he just doesn't care. Nearly backs through the front door; missed it by about an inch. I'm laughing my ass off, mainly at Phil's stupidity, but then I look in the mirror, and I see people on the ground inside the building near the door. They dove out of the way cuz they thought he was going to go through the door. I tell him, and he floors it, spraying the window of the front door with dirt and sand, and we get the hell out of there before they called security on us.
So now we had the problem of a bent bumper, and Phil didn't want his Dad to see it. That night he tells me to meet him at the high school at 9. I'm there wondering what the fuck he was up to. He shows up with the truck, and a rope that was about 2 inches in diameter. Apparently he had the idea that he was going to bend the bumper back (stainless steel by the way). I tell him he's a moron, he tells me to STFU and tie the rope to a dumpster and the fender. Once it's done he floors it, but it's a pickup truck, and it just drags the dumpster into the parking lot. I tell him again "you're a moron". He again tells me to STFU. Next he spots a cement post, and ties the rope to that. I say "Are you fucking insane?!". He ignores me this time, ties the ropes, and floors it. I can hear the truck straining. I yell "You really are fucking insane! You'll get more force if you don't spin your tires, and just tap the accelerator (which is very true)". He tells me to STFU, and then the rope snaps, sending the truck forward uncontrollably, until he dents yet ANOTHER car. So Phil figures he's just about screwed everything up now. I point out that the school's principal drives a car of the same color, the same principle that suspended me for bending chairs, most of which were bent by an idiot frosh, and that got bent back the next day. So we look up the principle's home number in the phonebook that I just happened to have in my car, write it on a piece of paper, and stuck it under the victim car's wiper blade, and took off.

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