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n00bfiles - Viewing n00b: Bus Passengers/General public

n00bfile #6776
  • Written By: cr0sis
  • Submitted: Nov 29, 2006 at 8:28 pm
  • n00b's Name: Bus Passengers/General public
  • Game: Real Life
  • Votes: 66
  • Score: 9.58
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29/11/06 - Location : Preston Bus station, North West England. UK
Start Time : 2310hrs. End time 00.28hrs (30/11/06) +00GMT

I drive buses for a living.
I am in contact with the general public each working day, so obviously I see n00bs everywhere I go. Imagine to my shock then, as i encountered no less than 3 in one trip lasting approx 1hour and 15minutes.

n00b Number One. Not only did this guy scare the living bejesus out of me, I think he must've pretty much parped in his own trousers.
Here's what happened.
I boarded up all my lovely passengers up at preston bus station, and proceeded to make headway out of the grounds of said station. Now each bus has definitive right of way upon leaving the grounds as the exit quickly merges into a small one way street, with adjoining traffic from the right.

I was in one of these babies


I had just come upto the junction where cars must wait for any buses to pass before joining, when a guy in one of these...


...Decides to pull out right in front of me. Needless to say, the two vehicles had a smashing time together but it was a fight that the smaller of the two would never have won. He was pwned. I !rec'd my bus for not sustaining any damage whatsoever. Details exchanged, With a small undertone of "taking the piss" out of him. Ok I lie, I ripped the shit outta him and laughed so hard. He couldn't see the funny side of it though :sad: LOL!

N00b Number 2. At the time of impact, I had already met number two, but his n00bishness was yet to be offered up to me. Infact he was a passenger on my bus!
Before I tell the next story in detail look at this picture.
Legend: 1 = Look at the stubble 2 = Strong cheekbones yes?
That's a picture of me, taken just monday night with a guy I rarely speak to unless we bump into each other in town. His face is covered for I am unable to ask for permission, plus he isn't involved at all in this n00bing description.
Anyway n00b number two. He's an old man.
Drunk too.
I'd hazard a guess of about 65-70 years of age.
His stop is coming up soon so he rings the bell, and walks to the front of the bus next to me. I pull over at the next bus stop and open the doors, turn to him and just before I start to say my pleasantries, The following conversation ensues:
So I'll see you next week?
'Fraid not, I rarely do this run, Infact I'm currently on holiday. I just said I'd cover someone who is sick this evening.
Oh right, Ok. So.... *pauses for quite some time* Are you a man or a woman?
/Looking rather stunned/ All man my friend
/Looking Very Confused/ Oh right, Ok... I was...Nevermind. Good night.

I shut the doors quickly on him and rather loudly shouted "WTF" so all the bus passengers were able to hear. Mad laughter engaged. But we were all VERY confused


It seems OLD MEN + BEER GOGGLES Dont see this =


But infact see this


N00bz0r Grandad *nods*. ^_^

And Finally n00b Number Three.

This Guy was you're typical chav (not sure if america or anywhere other than the uk knows the phrase, so http://www.chavscum.co.uk/howto.php will help all those unfamiliar with said phrase learn how to steer clear should they decide to visit this lovely country).
Now I'm halfway through my bus route, Home time is looming and I'm seriously not in the mood for any bother anymore. I just want to finish my shift, go home and write a story.
But this next guy was hellbent on giving me fodder for a third n00b installment, So here's what happened.
I pulled up to a bus stop and served a lady. After she sat down I had a about half a minute or so to wait as this particular stop was a "timing point" meaning I wasn't allowed to continue further until a specific time had elapsed.
So I'm sat there minding my own business watching the clock steady ticking, When said "chav" walks up to the doors sporting his mobile telephone to his ear obviously talking to his "bi0tch". He's having a good old argument with her in the usual language only known to them, consisting of words I have never heard of and with a syntax so messed up It'd take rather a long time to transcript the exact conversation.
Anyway, I digress. He's holding one of these..


Not sure how world wide Strongbow is, So here's an explanation.
Alcoholic...Cider to be exact. Typical chav drink because it's cheap and nasty.
As soon as I saw it, I knew he wasn't getting on my bus anyway, He was likely to ask for a "childs fare" - (uk legal drinking age : 18+) - (child fare on buses is given to those under 16, not inclusive) and be drunk with the potentiality of abusive behaviour. n00b
But wait, there's more. I close my doors ready to leave him with no explanation (whilst he's still chatting obscenities and odd sentences) when he kicks the door, shouts "OI FUCKHEAD" and generally looks like a baby with a wet nappy.
So I open my doors, and the following conversation pursues :
Who the fuck are you calling Fuckhead...
You...Why the hell did you start to drive off wanker
Umm I closed my doors mate, but take your pick, one you are drinking. Two you look like an asshole dressed that way and three... I knew you were gonna be abusive, you just proved me right.
At which point his TRUE n00bness comes out. He's seriously not impressed....very much pissed off I might add. He, rather stupidly, take a great big chuck norris swing for me.... but, oh dear...Pooor chav hurty him handy :(
Each bus our depot owns comes with an anti-assault screen. Knife proof and certainly chav proof. Chav gets pwnt by perspex screen : lolzers
This is probably how his mother will find him come morning time.


I am done.