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n00bfiles - Viewing n00b: The Fingerbangs

n00bfile #6582
  • Written By: zgunner12
  • Submitted: Apr 17, 2006 at 11:20 pm
  • n00b's Name: The Fingerbangs
  • Game: Real Life
  • Votes: 29
  • Score: 8.86
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Ok,This story has no airsoft in it,sorry,but I'm sure you will enjoy it anyway.

Well, it was about 3 days ago I was riding my bike to school with Kyle when it happened.I stopped at the light and just waited to go like I usually do.All of a sudden a escalade pulls up next to my bike with music blasting.It didn't sound like rap,and it didn't sound like...anything really.The lyrics were something like this.

Finger bang bang bang!
I'm gonna finger bang bang you
I'm gonna finger bang bang you into my life
Girl you like to fingerbang and that's all right
Finger bang
Bang Bang Bang
I'm gonna finger bang bang you every night!

There was some that I forgot,but that basically explains it.I really couldn't fight the urge to ask them what the hell that was,so I just did it.

Me:Hey,what song is that?
Guy:Yo man it's Fingerbang!The soon to be #1 hit single in America,then the world!
Guy:Yeah,that's the name of our band,and our song!
Me:Isn't that from an episode of South Park?
Guy #2:That's what inspired us.

At this moment the light turned green,and they took off,but I would soon see these idiots again.

When I got to school Kyle asked me what I was saying to them and I told them.We had an interesting discussion on what happened,it only confused him.

3:05 P.M.-School was over and I was on my way home when I saw the escalade parked in front of the 7-11.I decided to continue the conversation from earlier.

Me:Remember me?
Guy:Yeah,you dat kid who was asking us da questions.
Me:Yeah,anyways,since you stole that song from-
Guy:Eh eh eh,we didn't STEAL the song,we reincarnated it.
Me:Do you even know what that means...
Me:Aren't you afraid you will get sued by Comedy Central or something?
Guy #2:Once they see how good this shit is,they won't,cause they be buyin our album.
Me:You can't really make an 'album' with one song.
Guy:Ah,don't worry we got more.
Me:If you don't mind me asking,what are your names.
One-Bang:I'm One-Bang.
One-Bang:That's Two-Bang over there.
One-Bang:Over there is Three-Bang and Four-Bang.
One-Bang:Then this guy next to me is Five-Bang aka Fist-Bang.
Me:Hey,remember to put a cucumber in your pants.

After that "One-Bang" asked me to advertise their band.At first I said no,but then he said how all their parents were filthy rich and they would pay me $45 a week.I obviously couldn't pass down that offer.They gave me about 30 posters and 10 shirts.I decided the best place to do this would be at school,oh was I in for a suprise.Halfway through the schoolday,after I had put the posters all over the school,I was called to the office.Now keep in mind that my principal is probally the nicest and coolest adult at the school,and normally lets most kids off the hook.Although he knew me already from doing other stupid stuff around the school.Like the police report for airsofting and paintballing during school,throwing water ballons at middle school kids,never really doing my homework.

Principal:Ummm,what is this?
(Holds up poster of Fingerbang)
Me:An advertisement...
Principal:I can see that,but why did you post it at THIS fine school?
Me:Because this is the only school I go to.
Principal:I think that should be changed soon...
Me:Huh?(I knew what he meant don't think I'm that dumb)
Principal:Uh nevermind.Back to the point,what is this about.
Principal:And what part of your brain told you to put these all over the school?
Me:Some kids in a boyband or something called fingerbang are paying me to do it.
Me:And I believe it was the dumb part of my brain.
Principal:Well you finally answered that correctly.
Me:After asking that about a hundred times I was sure to get it.
Principal:Anyways,who is this fingerbang?
Me:A boyband consisted of 5 group members named One-Bang,Two-Bang,Three-Bang,Four-Bang,and Five-Bang aka Fist-Bang.They sing songs about fingerbanging woman...as far as I know.
Me:Too much?
Principal:Uh you can go now,just don't do that again,ok?
Me:You got it.

After school they were hanging at the same place as before so I went to explain my situation.

Me:Hey,I can't do your advertising.
One-Bang:Aw,too bad,so wheres the posters.
One-Bang:Yeah,no big deal,just give us the posters.
Me:I don't have them,they were thrown away.
One-Bang:Well,it's gonna cost you then.
Me:I thought you were rich,just make more!
One-Bang:That's gonna be $50.
Me:Ok very funny,bye.

I went to my bike and right before I got on someone grabbed my shirt and pulled me to their face.

One-Bang:I said I want the fucking money.

I hit him in the face and he let go of me.While he was asking his friends if he was bleeding I took off on my bike.10 seconds later I heard "After that asshole!"

That was 9 hours ago.Haven't seen them since then.Looks like I got an angry boy band called fingerbang after me.Better stay in doors.

The End.