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n00bfiles - Viewing n00b: Sam

n00bfile #6549
  • Written By: chitoryu12
  • Submitted: Mar 14, 2006 at 2:54 pm
  • n00b's Name: Sam
  • Game: Real Life
  • Votes: 16
  • Score: 5.19
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Sam is another of the strange people at my school. He's short, dyed his short red hair brown, has freckles, and small, dark eyes. He has a nasally voice, but makes it even worse to try and mock me, while I actually have a rather deep and commanding voice.

Sam hates me for the same reason a lot of people do: I have an IQ higher than 50.

He always tries to hit me or throw something at me, but his aim is worse than a newb playing an FPS. In order to hit a target with anything, he has to be within five feet of it. He once tried throwing a football at me during Gym, but I barely had to move to avoid it. He also threw a small, hard object (probably a rock) at me when he entered Science class, but I just had to tilt my head a little to the left to make it whiz right by me.

Sam is also a huge coward. He acts as if he's as tough as Rambo, but runs as soon as there's a chance for him to get hurt. In Gym, on the same day as the football thing mentioned above, he threw a pen at me, but I put my foot up and broke it into several pieces. I picked up a piece to throw it back, but he was on the other side of the gym right by a coach faster than Superman.

He's know for exaggerating the geek stereotype immensly when dealing with me. When I brought a Star Wars book to school, he stood behind me, using his awful nasally voice, and said that he read that book six times, complete with a tear-inducing laugh. He then proceeded to whap the book out of my hands.

As a finisher, Sam can never make himself seem like the instigator. He always turns himself into the poor victem that I abuse, even if all evidence and the teacher's opinion points to the contrary.